Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts

Monday, October 7, 2013

Love-letters

Dear God,

I have shortcomings. I am vulnerable. I am weak.
I know you've allowed me to start this journey for a reason. It's a roller coaster ride.
I know you have a plan to get me through this, somehow, someway, that I cannot see at this current moment of desperation.

I don't know if I am making this harder than it has to be, or if I am being melodramatic. I am a girl after all. I have emotions that know no end. They fool me into believing things that aren't the truth.
And all I can hope is that I recover from train wrecks, and focus on what is true, what is good, and what is real.

Right now I know I feel overwhelmed like I'm getting paid to feel overwhelmed.

I am thankful that I am not alone in this.
When people warn you about things being tough, you don't realize it until you are walking in their shoes.

In a sense I want to remember every single difficult, intense, moment of this. I want to know I lived it with every fiber and made it through. I don't want to wish it away like I am wishing moments of my life away.

I just know that I won't make it through alone.


Love,
Amber




Tuesday, October 1, 2013

It won't be forever.

My second week of nursing school is underway, and I don't think I will ever be able to fit everything inside my brain that I have to fit.

There are things for days to pack inside there.

I have found myself doing more homework in these last two weeks than I feel like I have ever done in my whole college career before now. I know you might think I am over exaggerating, but I am not.
There are places to check, hidden assignments, nearly missed posts, and I guess I feel like my pre-nursing college days were easy as peach pie compared to this madness.

It's good, and I am not complaining. I enjoy the class time, and I feel like I can't get enough of it. I just feel like we were nurtured more in my prior college experience.

In my pre-nursing school days, If you had a test, you would know that it's over chapter such and such, but in nursing school they give you a list of questions to look up, a list of maybe four books the information for the whole sheet of questions might be in, and that's it! So you have two books that are 2000 pages each, and you maybe even one of those four books are split up into two books, with an index that lasts for days...

I was not prepared for this, but I feel like I am grabbing hold of these concepts at least.
Nursing school is not for the faint of heart.
You work hard.
Your laundry goes unfolded.
You might be found crying  in bedrooms and cars from the sheer overwhelming feelings of the list of things you have to do.
You worry a little about how you're going to have a job.
You write just to keep your sanity.
You pray on the way to school and on the way home from school just to make it.
And you hope that at the end of the two years, you're there carrying a diploma that says you made it to the finish line.



Love,
Amber




Thursday, September 26, 2013

Laughter

Today I laughed, and I mean really laughed. I have to say it felt good. My dad can always make me laugh.  I have to say some of the things my nephew says reminds me of things my dad says and vice versa. All I can tell you isI needed that laughter. As the week is closing to an end, and I have one more day left in my first week of the RN program, I am realizing just how much grit this thing takes.

It's like you're on your toes even when you aren't on your toes.

Little by little God is providing for me. It's definitely growing my faith and making me feel more humble and thankful. When people give you things you don't deserve, you are grateful. God uses those people and those kind things to fill your cup up, and sometimes it makes you cry.

I purchased six of my books today and thankfully to a kind friend (Jeannie :] ), I was able to work on some of my homework without my other books.

Here are a few life lessons I've learned from nursing school this week.
1. Talk to strangers
2. Let your light shine
3. People might not remember what you said or what you did for them, but they will always remember how you made them feel.

Even thought my life is intensely involved in my studies right now, I love it. I know that those three little life lessons are whispers telling me I am in the right spots at the right times.

Now here is the laugh I have to share with you.
This is my incredibly lovable, supportive, dad. He taught me how to ride my first bike, rushed to the hospital when I broke my arm roller-blading, and made sure I had the best things in life. He is the funniest person I know.




Love,
Amber


Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Between sips of coffee




Someone once said to me, there's a fallacy in your brain that allows you to believe in God.
He said this knowing well that I do believe in God.
Although, this might seem like an incredibly cruel thing to say to someone that is admittedly a Christian, I don't think he meant it to come across that way.

My first reaction was to feel defensive, and then later, hurt by this. As a Christian, it's hard to hear this.  It's like they're talking badly about someone in your family, or a close friend because it is someone you know and love.
I imagined this person sitting there, grounded in intellectual logic, not meaning to be offensive, but saying what he felt was a truth in his life. 
I felt compassion for him.

We are all so sure about things in our lives when we feel they are our personal truths. No one can talk us out of believing them, and it's hard to let go of things we feel are true.
It made me sad for my friend, sad that he couldn't experience the joy, the love, the hope that someone who has a relationship with God could experience. 

Yes, there is a fallacy in the human brain that allows you to accept things without seeking the truth, defend things that you are accustomed to defending, and borrow ideas because it sounds intelligent, or it might sound factual, and believing it without having a personal experience, or personal knowledge of what is true. 

Sometimes we aren't informed at all or appropriately. This happens strongly out of the traditions we have in our lives sometimes, other times it happens because something might sound good and we hop on the bandwagon. No facet of life is excluded, religions, schools, and day-to-day articles or t.v. shows that broadcast something we might feel sounds right. 

We believe what we are taught in our public school systems, because heaven forbid they teach us something that isn't substantiated! 
I mean, they're responsible for our education. How can they pick and choose what to teach us? How could they be wrong?

I might be going out on a limb, and maybe even upsetting a few people by this post, but please know this not my attention. This is my blog after all, and I feel I have a certain responsibility to express my feelings and thoughts in a genuine manner.  I cannot apologize for my view, nor will I. I do however have compassion on anyone I've offended, or might continue to offend (if you read on) :]. I encourage you to open up your heart and mind. 

The science education taught in most public schools, even though it claims to be progressive and encourage a value of open-mindedness, does quite the opposite. You are taught one theory-- our universe came from an explosion, which may seem logical to some. But have you ever seen a pile of building materials lying around explode into a house? Is there evidence in our world today of something exploding and becoming better than it was before the explosion occurred, and not only that, but out of nothing?  

Who designs a house? It’s a designer, not an explosion. I am simply asking you to think about that for a minute. The only scientific theory we are even taught to consider is one that cannot be replicated by our own scientists today.  We cannot take nothing and make something out of it. How is this science forward thinking and progressive? Instead we are taught one theory, and from a very young age. This is a backwards idea that doesn't allow science to progress, especially if we are teaching our future scientists that if you are a scientist you must believe this one theory.

There are many world-renowned scientists responsible for substantial discoveries, programs, and legacies that we utilize in schools now, but not everything is included about them in our public education. Even their recommendations are tossed aside at times. We are taught what is popular, and we are told to reject anything that has to do with God. Why is this intolerance allowed? Is it discrimination to teach one theory, but not all ideas?
.
Here is an excerpt from a letter written to the California State Board of Education by Dr. Wernher von Braun. 
He's the leading founder of the modern space exploration program "NASA"

         "One cannot be exposed to the law and order of the universe without concluding that there must be a design and purpose behind it all….The better we understand the intricacies of the universe and all it harbors, the more reason we have found to marvel at the inherent design upon which it is based…To be forced to believe only one conclusion-- that everything in the universe happened by chance-- would violate the very objectivity science itself…. What random process could produce brains of a man or the system of a human eye?… They (evolutionists) challenge science to prove the existence of God.  But must we really light a candle to see the sun? … They say they cannot visualize a Designer. Well, can a physicist visualize an electron?…What strange rationale makes some physicists accept the inconceivable electron as real while refusing to accept the reality of a Designer on the ground that they cannot conceive Him? … It is in science honesty that I endorse the presentation of alternative theories for the origin of the universe, life, and man in the science classroom. It would be an error to overlook the possibility that the universe was planned rather than happening by chance."


Saying that we came from nothing, or happened by chance even violates the very facets of science about order not coming from chaos.
How could one explosion produce so much order? We don't see that even today in our society, as more time passes on, more chaos happens. As we get older, our bodies break down.  More floods occur, more fires occur, more destruction.  Time does not make things better, but worse.

Here's a little statistics for you, and I can vouch for this scenario because I passed statistics with an A+.  :]
We have about 200 bones in our body, and exactly one spot for them all to connect to.  What is the random chance, that these bones will be placed in the right order on the very first try?

It's 200!, which is a factorial.  Try and imagine this number in your head. This factorial = 1 with 375 zeros after it.
There isn't enough time thats occurred for this theory to have been lived out in our world. 

 200 bones is the most basic illustration. Our bodies have some odd 200,000 (this factorial make break your calculator ;] ) different proteins to make up all of their organic structures, and these proteins must have at least one activating enzyme that is specific to that protein to work.
All of these things must be perfectly together at the same time to provide the construction of a living thing with all the intricacies of their systems and organs, but that still doesn't necessarily mean you have a life.

         "Ask a mathematician what are the odds of accidentally discovering the winning lottery ticket for the jackpot lottery lying on the ground by your trash can. Now ask what are the odds of finding ANOTHER winning ticket tomorrow in the same place. For even more intricately arranged genetic code (for something like an amoeba) to evolve by chance is similar to the chance of finding another winning lottery ticket every day for the next thousand years! In other words, you don't have to be a mathematician to conclude that such odds are utterly impossible. Yet, this kind of trick had to happen trillions of times over to produce all the systems of life on earth by chance." 
         quote from Dennis Peterson


Sometimes when I’ve searched things out, I’ve been somewhat fearful of what I would find. It’s not easy researching something that might contradict your beliefs or values, but searching has only reaffirmed my faith by learning more about how science works!

Don’t be afraid of discovering the truth.  :]





Love,
Amber