Found a new home!

Hey Guys,
Thanks for all the support while I've been starting up my blog,
Adailydoseofamber has now found a new home thanks to all my viewers loyalty!!

Please visit here: adailydoseofamber for future posts!
Thanks again
xx
Amber

Learning to grow

There are days that you dread, and on those days you dread, you usually get to anticipate their coming.

Monday I got into class, and it was my worst nightmare unfolding before my eyes. We weren't prepared. We didn't know what was about to happen. For some it might not have been a big deal, but for me, it was pretty much my worst nightmare multiplied by a 100.

Have you ever done something that you just dread? The mere thought of it just makes you squirm uncomfortably?

We were told on Monday that the whole day we would be practicing physicals on each other.

This might not seem bad for some, but after they disclosed what this would encompass, I could feel myself squirming, feeling sick, and hyperventilating just to even think about it.

We were told we would get in a hospital gown, the ones that sort of fasten up, and have to be nearly naked at moments in front of our peers. Awkward. Very, very awkward.

I could feel a very prominent thought inside my head forming,  "I did not sign up for this!" 

It's not so bad if you actually have a doctor you see, but to have to spend a whole day in front of these people that I know on a personal level, people that I will see every day for the next two years except for weekends and holidays, and then add this uncomfortable scene into the picture.... Well it just wasn't what I really wanted to do. I'm conservative for goodness sakes!

This concept was a stretch. 

And then I thought about it, and then some more again, and then a little bit more. I thought hard.

I wonder how the patient feels to be in those places, exposed, vulnerable, and uncomfortable. 

Maybe this fear is a good thing as we learn to stretch ourselves. 

Maybe this fear is showing us how it feels to be human and in other people's shoes. 

This fear is showing us how to feel empathy for someone, because we have once been in their same spots enduring the feeling of being on the hospital bed and vulnerable. 

This raw fear was recreating a scene we might have to live in only a matter of months, but played out on the other side of the situation.

I guess things that make us think, make us think hard, will help us grow and stretch in a way that breeds compassion.  

You have to find understanding in all trials, no matter what they mean, big or small. 

Monday the lesson I learned is what feels to be truly empathetic towards another human being as a nurse. I will carry that in my heart as long as I live.

Empathy- the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another. 

Fractures of our hearts

How do you do it?
I'm asking you mothers. The ones who have babies, and children, and husbands, and pets...People you care for. Animals you care about. How do you?

You have dinners to make, clothes to fold, children to soothe at night and sometimes it's in the middle of the night. Nights of disrupted sleep where you can't sleep, or they can't sleep, or someone can't sleep, and you're up doing the things that mothers do. Being present with those strong and capable laps that holds and unfolds every single care in the world and files them in folders marked:

"Times when mom was a superhero."
Or
"Times when mom said the right thing"
Or
"Times when mom listened and didn't talk"
Or
"Times when mom just held me."

 This deep commitment alone should win awards.

There should be awards given to those parents who mend chubby toddler knees, toes from bee stings, damaged feelings from toys not shared, or when friends words come out too honest. Far too many times, these little essential things are over looked, but they shape our lives. They matter deep inside the innermost fractures of our hearts.
Our parents nurture us. They accept us broken and whole at the same time.

I don't know how you do it. How you care so deep and still exist in other forms to other people. How you exist outside of all that you do inside the four walls of a home.
Where does this energy come from?
I thought hard about this recently, and I mean hard. I recall all those times I pined for my life to be a certain way, and now I know.
In my nursing class there are many parents.

Lets be realistic here, I feel as if my time is so limited that I am ready to give parent of the year awards to those people who are in my class (or are in any college atmosphere for that matter) and still are able to be actively present in their families lives.

I'm almost invisible to mine. I have books upon books open every day, papers strewn everywhere, and I'm typing, or reading, or highlighting, or scattering, and organizing messes. There's hellos and goodbyes, and I'm off to study.

I find time when I can to reach out to people I love and care for, but it's few and far between.
The kind of commitment raising children implores would be entirely unimaginable to me in my current circumstances.

I pray to God on the way to school, and on the way home from school, thankful. He knew what he was doing with me when He made me wait for things I previously prayed so much for. I pray for those people who have the same school commitments and families at home too.  I've become thankful for my near 40 minute commute to school everyday, because it gives me time to be thankful and prayerful.

Here's the weekly glimpse into my life:

Love,

Amber

Love-letters

Dear God,

I have shortcomings. I am vulnerable. I am weak.
I know you've allowed me to start this journey for a reason. It's a roller coaster ride.
I know you have a plan to get me through this, somehow, someway, that I cannot see at this current moment of desperation.

I don't know if I am making this harder than it has to be, or if I am being melodramatic. I am a girl after all. I have emotions that know no end. They fool me into believing things that aren't the truth.
And all I can hope is that I recover from train wrecks, and focus on what is true, what is good, and what is real.

Right now I know I feel overwhelmed like I'm getting paid to feel overwhelmed.

I am thankful that I am not alone in this.
When people warn you about things being tough, you don't realize it until you are walking in their shoes.

In a sense I want to remember every single difficult, intense, moment of this. I want to know I lived it with every fiber and made it through. I don't want to wish it away like I am wishing moments of my life away.

I just know that I won't make it through alone.

Love,

Amber

A Day In the Life!

The idea behind a day in the life is posting your day in pictures. Some people choose to snap a photo every hour. Some take more, and some take less. It's all up to you! I chose to snap a picture whenever I thought about it. Some people do their day in the life when they're doing something fun and exciting, like going to disney land or going on a road trip.

This is my day in the life

Getting my wake up on! Shower and brushin’ my teeth.

Ready, set, make-up, selfie afterwards, and a time stamp of my day thus far.

Daily essentials: Water + Homemade Chai tea curtsey my sister-in-law.

Off to grocery shop! We have a YOLO moment and stop to enjoy the view over the lookout. I snap a picture of my nieces toesies because I want to remember her with us, and because she’s in the process of being adopted we can’t photograph her just yet!

Winco is our last stop! Eating a quick lunch that my sister-in-law packed for us.

Ella is happy to see me!  I try to take a nap, but it doesn’t last. 

My sister-in-law is as cute as a button, isn’t she? Drinking her protein frappe. It’s delish, be jealous.

While my sister is picking up the kids from school, I go check on the puppies. Hello, and goodbye sweet pups.

Then, I load the dishwasher, and start it up, and survey the fresh fruits and veggies people have been gifting us. We appreciate it soooooooooo much!

A before and after of my room that I straightened up, but sadly in the process my scentsy warmer fell off the shelf and broke. SAD! Those things are expensive man.

On the way home, my thrifty sister found a new table for our kitchen.

Prepping for our Gluten free, home made pizza crust. We had a make your own pizza, kind of pizza + salad! It was SOO good!

My dad calls to tell me about an epic spider, and spider web he discovered. Since I live a few blocks away, I went to get some photos of it

These cute people stopped by .

As the night comes to an end, it required coffee + music. YES!

Ella is clearly ready for bed..

But I’m not! I check facebook, and start getting my A Day In the Life post ready..

Finally ready for bed! Good night :]

I'm having a day in the life contest. You can Facebook or email me your photos, and I will post the winner's photos on my blog with credit.  My contact information is in the contact me section of my home page on my website.  Get creative! :]

Love,

Amber

Templates, Layouts, and Profiles--Oh my!

I've been entertaining the idea of creating a blog for sometime now. I love writing, and I never shut up about a lot of things, so you can imagine that I would have a plethora of topics to write about.  I've read  headline after headline about how simple it is to create a blog. 

Supposedly it only takes five minutes and bada-bing-bada-boom! You have yourself a blog. Followers, now that's another topic completely

Much to my dismay, this hasn't been the case for me. Insert long dramatic sigh here.

I remember back in the day when blogspot actually owned blogspot. You logged on, entered some information, and there you have it. 

Now google+, and I love google very much don't get me wrong, has made it very complicated to even enter an about me section. 

I've poured hours over tutorials to try and figure this out. I go to "edit profile" in the layouts section, and there is no text box other than the "title" 

If it's simpler than I've made it then I am going to kick myself, apologize to google, and then sadly face the reality that I am getting old and technology isn't a piece of cake anymore.

Ugh!