Forever changed

Today I was driving from Ontario to Boise on the freeway. I drove past this truck advertising car repair. The tow truck was towing some kind of extended cab truck that was unrecognizable from damage. My first thought was that the truck was beyond repair and thought it odd, but then I started examining the truck more closely. There was a motor home attached the the back of the truck, this caused me to swallow hard. Someone who was on vacation.
The damage of the truck terrified me. A lump formed in my throat, and my stomach was knots upon knots. I couldn't help but cry a little before I looked away. I knew that behind the tangled metal and crushed glass, there was a family grieving. I immediately said a prayer for healing, comfort, and protection of the family who owned that vehicle.

So many times we want to stare at all the damage that has been done, but when faced with it's reality, it is so hard to see it. There have been so many tragedies lately, ones that have hit so close to home, friends of friends, or people we know. It brings on the worst kind of ache, something that can't be fixed by time, something you'll always remember. Time does not heal all wounds. It springs up like an overwhelming fountain of tears, in the most random places:
On the free way driving, in coffee shops when you first hear the news, in churches, in homes, in streets,  in schools, and in grocery stores, we weep.
You recognize a face that reminds you of someone gone. Tears, they just happen to come with it like a badge you're wearing. You seek comfort from those who remember that person, you never want to let those people go because they connect you. You seek comfort from God. You hope for a sign from God that everything is okay. You pray for one too.

This tangle of metal, the crushing of glass, it brings the pain back that every car accident I have heard about or seen since, does. I want to look away, because it reminds me how much I miss your smile, and your cheerful voice chiming like bells. It's gone from my eardrums in a instant, but I still remember it well.
The broken pieces bring me back to sitting in the school coffee shop, staring at facebook, learning you were gone after I'd just talked to you days before.
I know though, you wouldn't want any of us to be sad. It's a bittersweet realization.
You had the brightest smile, and you loved life so much.
I don't want to think about what your last minutes might have been like, and so I won't.  I  just want to remember you escaping from my car in the summer night with your one shoe, leaving the broken one behind for me to find, something to remember you by.
I still have your shoe.